This weekend, the BCM took a trip to Cummins Falls. Fourteen of us made the trip; only four made it to the end to see the actual waterfall. Let me be honest: this is my first year as a team leader and I am still trying to figure it out. This hiking event is one of the first few where I have been in charge of the team planning them. It is a little bit scary. My team and I planned the event and got people to sign up; I worried about all the details and thought of all the things that could go wrong. The morning of, I was worried no one would show up, but even more afraid that no one would have fun. Somewhere along the way, I had confused the success of the event with my success as a leader.
It rained most of the hike. Not only did it rain, but the temperature was in the low 50's. People had to walk in the freezing water. We dropped a camera and a cell phone. Two-thirds of our group turned around before getting to the end. With each and every mishap, I was reminded of a simple fact: I cannot control everything. Sometimes, I am so caught up in my success or failure that it becomes my source of worth. I scrutinize my actions until all I see is myself; I become my own god. This happens in academics as well. Doing well in school can become a source of pride; the opposite is crushing because we are not good enough to satisfy ourselves. Sure, we should work hard and put in our best effort, but that cannot be our source of worth.
This weekend, we hiked in the rain. We also bonded over the ridiculous weather and all the crazy happenings. Community is not built in perfect circumstances, but through experiences. I was reminded that at the end of the day, I am not defined by what I do. I can plan and work and fail or succeed, but only God is in control. And sometimes, he lets you hike in the rain.